Up, up and away…..

Tomorrow I fly away like a bird (except I don’t have wings and I’ll be on a plane.) You know what I mean. I am flying from California to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I actually
enjoy the plane leaving the runway and becoming airborne. Admittedly, I cringe at the landing.

What I don’t enjoy is the checking in, the security checks, the waiting to board, and then landing a seat between someone who smells like they may have just gotten off the basketball court, and someone who insists on talking the entire trip. I am a people person, but sometimes even I enjoy time to listen to music, reflect on life, nap, or perhaps read a book.

It always happens and I guess that is just the way it is. Someone in the seat in front of you is coughing and sneezing. In the seat directly behind you is the only woman on the plane with an infant crying the entire time.

When I first started flying years ago, it was so different. The stewardess was friendly and very helpful. Meals were actually served and they were pretty good. There wasn’t a fee
for earphones so you could watch a movie without paying. I remember when my daddy flew
at one time he could smoke in the cabin. YUK. I am so glad that consideration disappeared with time.

I do enjoy watching all the different people while waiting to board the plane. We are a diverse group on this planet earth. I am so glad for that as it might be very boring if it were otherwise.

It does kind of make me sick when someone says, “Isn’t she ugly?” or “what a nose”. Get the idea. Well the fact is we don’t choose what we look like when we are born, and I swear there
are beautiful things about almost everybody. I refuse to be kept in the box the media would like to put us in. Thin is beautiful. Glasses suck. A rippling six pack is sexy. No one is going to make me decide what I think. That is my choice! Besides, I believe what mama always said - “beauty is from within”.

I dated a guy once that I thought was so handsome. Trouble was he thought he was handsome too (really a snob about his looks). The more I got to know him, the uglier he got.
So there you go.

Though I don’t know much about blogging I am enjoying it so much. I can write my heart out about whatever I like, and someone might even read or like it! I don’t know if I will have a computer available for the next 10 days, so I think this may be my temporary blog demise.

Whatever happens to you (good or bad) remember you always have the choice of your response. Don’t let your emotion / or intellect control you. Find a fine mix of the two. Don’t let the circumstance control your response. You are in charge of YOU. Create wonderful
moments for yourself, and if something goes wrong or even if you screw up, remember:
the very next moment is yours to do with what you will. ENJOY.

Prof reed whought you rite!

Will I never learn? My husband calls me (he has many names for me) “all speed and no control”. I imagine that one is pretty accurate. I made a comment yesterday on another blog, and I posted it. Afterwards I checked it out and sure enough - I left in a word I had intended to delete. This was a small error, but embarassing as I consider myself fairly educated.

I have a small book that was published this year and my daughter told me to have someone else proof it before I send the final manuscript. Alas, having majored in English, I thought I was perfectly capable of doing the work myself. But she was right! After writing, reading, reworking some of it, reading it again, and finally again to proof - I guess all the pages started looking right to me.

When I got my first copies of the book I was aghast to have someone read it and find at least 20+ errors. Not huge obvious errors (with the exception of a couple), but enough for me to want them corrected.

A wonderful thing happened. I contacted the publisher and they agreed to make the corrections. I was shocked and so very happy. They were not obligated to do this, and actually they could have charged me a fee.

I swore I would always have someone else proof my written material - too bad I didn’t
on my little comment yesterday.

Ohh well, I gess Im humane, and perhapps noo one wood evr half noteced if I had’t menshumed it! (hee hee)

Solace

To find solace midst the sorrows of life, one must consistently be able to elevate thoughts and hope to a higher level. Upon reflection of my life, I thought nothing could be worse than my own children suffering….only to find along the path that tragedy has increased in intensity over the years, and broadened its scope. Each circumstance laying another brick upon the foundation I perceive as my own. Each injury to my Spirit coming with the assured knowledge, NOW, that WITH wisdom and faith, anyone can find a resolve. I can and will forge a head into unknown territories as my human soul is at peace. It is the peace beyond all human understanding that comes from the SOURCE within me.

Absurdity of the Sexual Harassment Syndrome

Here is what REAL WOMEN do when someone comes forth with some gesture or verbal sexual harassment.
WE HANDLE IT! We don’t hold it in, then tattle and sue. We open our mouths and say, “Knock it off. What you are saying (or doing) is BS and I will not tolerate it.” Or we say loudly, “You are a pig and I expect you to quit oinking at me and keep your filthy hands to yourself!” Or however you want to handle it, but certainly not taking it in quietly and then suing.

I do remember a few times I had to handle sexual harassment (though I didn’t know what it was called then), when I was in the working force. One afternoon when I met my girlfriend at the local pub to have a beer and at that time, a cigarette. It was a small pub and so we ordered a couple of beers and took them to a table.

I reached into my purse to grab a match and found I hadn’t brought any with me. My girlfriend hadn’t either, so I went up to the bar, put one knee on a stool and reached for a pack of matches.

Somebody bit me in the butt. Without hesitation I backhanded the guy and he went flying into the wall
behind me. I didn’t know marshal arts or self defense at that time, but I knew no one should have done
that and I just reacted.

When I turned I saw a fellow picking up broken eye glasses. I recognized him. It was someone I had casually met a few months earlier. I said angrily, “Why did you bite my butt?”

He just said, “I couldn’t resist. I’m sorry.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to break your glasses, but if you ever find yourself near me again you had better use
a bit of self control” I responded (settling down a bit.)

There is NO excuse for sexual harassment - from either gender, to either gender. It is an invasion of
privacy and space, and should not be tolerated. Of course I wouldn’t recommend slugging someone all the time. That guy could have been someone who might have actually responded with violence.

But there are ways to handle it without having to sue someone for sure. I’ve known a few women who have actually opened the door to harassment by flirting or dressing way too sexy for the work place. I have found with the male gender, if you give any indication that there is opportunity, you may have to “handle” their response. Men are visual creatures usually, whereas women take a bit more prodding to get to the sexual part of the conversation or action… that’s just the basic nature of the genders.

I KNOW I can’t speak for everyone, so a reminder - I am only speaking from my point of view, lots of experience, and from the things I have seen and heard over 20+ years of counseling women. Basically I
just feel everyone is capable (perhaps not experienced), but capable of handling these situations.

We have so many things our overloaded court system is in the midst of, and this is one thing that can be
handled by the two people involved. Of course if it continued and became frightening, then someone absolutely should know (tell someone else the first time so you have a witness, if needed). But I’ve found over the years, and heard it from many women, that once you stand up and face the situation honestly,
90% of the time it’s a done deal!

The Turkey is in the Oven!

I do remember when Thanksgiving was more than just a pigfest. Hopefully some families still keep the tradition as it was when I was a child.

I recall. Mama used to let me help cook. We would get up very early in the morning because the turkey was usually a large one. It was big enough to feed the clan and still have leftovers for turkey hash and biscuits the next day, and turkey sandwiches and cranberries the next.

The night before we would have a crackling fire in the fireplace and sit at the kitchen table rolling out the pie dough (made from scratch of course). Mama would bring all the pumpkin ingredients to the table and watch as I carefully measured ingredients and mixed the pie filling. She taught me early to love cooking. I remember her saying “It is a wonderful feeling to know that you have whipped up something that leaves the house smelling like cinnamon and pumpkin; to know that your family will be nourished as they sit TOGETHER to eat.” It was a wonderful feeling.

We would cook the pies the night before so that they would chill in the refrigerator. Anyway, we knew the
turkey would take up the entire oven. In the morning just mama and I awoke early to get things started.
We let everyone else sleep as late as they liked, and of course when they awoke we had another great
fire crackling and hot chocolate on the stove.

I remember chopping lots of onions and celery and breaking a couple of loaves of bread to put in the dressing. Mama taught me how to make a great sage dressing that I still get raves about today. It was
one of those times I was fortunate enough to say I remember those times with my family - happy times.

We would all hug as the family arrived and chatter like a group of magpies. When we sat down for dinner
we clasp hands tightly all around the table to thank God for all our blessings.

I am still thankful for all my blessings. No matter what troubles there are in this country - we still have to
right to say what we think and voice our opinions. We have so many “options” as far as foods, autos, places to live, “toys” and so much more. (Sometimes I feel we have too much to appreciate it all. We
forget how blessed we are). Even such things as paper towels, toilet paper, telephones, computers, electricity, medical facilites in emergencies, television, firewood, alternate means of transportation, are
often taken for granted….and the list goes on and on.

So today I want to say with every fiber of my being, no matter what hard times we all must endure, I
am grateful for all my blessings - large ones and small. Grateful for love, for life, for family and and
friends. I hope whomever is reading this can relate to my feelings and if you cannot then I want you to
know someone is praying for you today- me!

The Cash before the Paycheck Rip-off

PLEASE DON’T FALL INTO THIS TRAP. You’ve seen the stores that offer “speedy cash when you need it” or “cash before you get your paycheck”, etc. It is one of the biggest rip off’s happening right now.

I read an article recently that warned our military of this very scam. They will GET YOU with the high interest charged. Interest is how the credit cards make money, but these places are out of sight with their high percentage of interest charged.

If you want to dig a hole and bury yourself a bit deeper, then go right a head and use these facilities. But honestly, YOU CAN MAKE IT WITHOUT the advance. If you have managed poorly then tighten the belt a bit. I’ve been there more than once and it is possible to make it with little (though I admit I got sick of my “potato diet” and my “rice” diet. I swore I would never eat either again, but I got creative with my recipes when that was all I had to eat!)

There is usually some place you can tighten the belt. Don’t smoke so much(or cut it out all together). It can be done. My husband and I did it together after 20 years of smoking, and now 3 years later we can’t believe we ever smelled that bad and coughed so much just to cut our oxygen supply in half. DUH. We’ve also saved a ton of money.

I was in a position of needing to feed the family once and sold many items I thought I could never part with in my lifetime. But as mama once told me, “They are just material possessions.” I actually survived.

I did get royally screwed a few times, I got a pittance for a carved silver belt my father had given me. I didn’t know what it was worth, but it put food on the table.

The worst was the sale of a mandolin. I had helped clean the apartment of an elderly lady who had passed away. I was told to take whatever I liked. I found a small book she had written and a mandolin among the debris.

I say debris because the family who asked for my help cleaning had already
crashed through the apartment looking for jewelry and anything worth lots of money. They needed help cleaning because they had strewn everything like garbage. Disrespect for this elderly woman, I felt.

Anyway, I found the mandolin in a corner and decided it was what I would call my own. When times were tough and the alcoholic and abusive asshole I lived with left me in dire financial straits, (also my own poor choices in the matter) I found it necessary to sell things again to feed the kiddos.

I sold my grandma’s diamond ring and the mandolin. I found out a few
years later that the $100. the dealer gave me for the mandolin was just a bit short of what it was worth - about $14,900.00. Alas, the money took care
of what was needed at the time, my education about trusting everyone broadened a bit, and I realized I can live without many material things I thought I needed!

Back to the point. DON’T make poor choices when it comes to scams such
as the “we’ll loan you money before you get paid” bit. It will kick you in the
butt and I KNOW you can find a way NOT to bend down for their aim.

Be smart and keep a little faith that you will make it no matter what.
Empower yourself with your thoughts and move forward my friends.

MIDDLE CLASS - I Think Not!

WELL, here is one of those times I am human and feel a pang or two of stress. I used to consider my family (immediate and extended) in the “middle class” earning group in America.

NOT ANY MORE. The middle class group has taken a nose dive into lower middle class, and struggling to maintain that division. From my perspective, almost everyone I know works VERY HARD - often more than 40 hours a week, doing whatever it takes to survive.

Most families I know are NOT covered with health insurance. So many companies have “down sized” (and I know why - it’s to increase the profit of a few). In down sizing lots of people are working just enough hours NOT TO QUALIFY for benefits. Clever, eh?

So here in the plight. Either you work like a dog to provide just the basics, and pray that there will be no accident or injuries in your family… OR you can go on welfare, collect food stamps, get all your medical benefits, and oftentimes living quarters too. (In San Francisco you can even get new needles for you drug habit.

All the while taxes are taken out of each paycheck to cover these benefits; Especially in California. That is simply the way it is!

I try to remember some folks REALLY do need help, and I do not begrudge them that help.

So I take a breath and relax. (I have to remind myself oftentimes.) I get my perspective right and remember– even lower middle class in America surpasses most of the world in comfort and luxury!

So I’ll be grateful for that and get back to work

Hmmmm. What’s Wrong with this Picture? You decide.

Do you think the almighty dollar is used effectively here in the USA? You be the judge. Here are a few of the statistics: Moviegoers will spend up to $10.00 each to see graphic representations of victims being tortured and
mutliated.

Hillary Clinton (and remember she is only one person) spent $35.9 million to win a second term.The average House winner spent only about a million each.

Martin Luther King Jr. will be honored (yes he was a wonderful man) by the government erecting a $100 million dollar monument. Is there a possibility he would have cringed at such a thing?

A Jackson Pollock painting just sold for $140 million; all sales at the art auction reached $491 million dollars.

Bill Clinton’s inaugural ball cost $29.6 million. The most recent ball was a pricey $40 million. (Remember this happens every 4 years).

The lifetime cost of the space shuttle program is $145 billion (with an average cost per flight of about $1.3 billion over the life of the program.)

The gift bags for participants at the emmy awards (you know, the one for the stars) are $30,000.each.

The cost of the “recent” wars is $440 billion and the Iraq portion is 24 billion. If the conflict continues for 5 more years it will reach 1.4 trillion dollars…………

The average cost of healthcare for one person per year is $7,100. Most
average Americans (the working class) can’t afford the coverage.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Wisdom from the “Homer Simpson” show!

DON’T YOU JUST LOVE IT? We watch the show whenever we can and really think the writing is great. Gosh it’s a bit scary - Homer reminds me of my father-in-law.

The wisdom was in reference to a swap meet. Can’t recall who said it, but my brain went
into activation mode and I stored it just for YOU.

“…..humans are like roaches feeding off each others garbage….” That is profound I think,
and true as true is. My concept of those words reach a tad further than a swap meet.

A scenario - think of it: You are driving down the road and some jerk speeds up and passes you, flipping you the finger of friendship (NOT) and looking at you like you’ve done something wrong.

You then feed off this jerk’s “garbage”, get a nasty look on your face and give him
that finger in return. Now that is feeding off each others garbage. I admit - I’ve done
it once or twice myself.

The last time I flipped someone off was the last time I will flip someone off! The two
guys that passed me on I-5 were going so fast. I was TRYING to move to the right lane, but they sped up and went in front of me, kind of in between me and an 18 wheeler. They
very nearly clipped me.

I was exhausted after a week of nearly no sleep, and my finger went up in the air. I
saw the break lights go on. These guys slowed down so fast I almost hit them. I admit
I was scared. It takes a lot to scare me. They were going to get me. I wasn’t sure
they weren’t going to get next to me and shoot me! I slipped into the right lane.

I made a decision and without a signal waited until the last minute and zipped off of the freeway. I knew they couldn’t make it and that there was no exit for miles a head. I
went directly to a small market, got a cup of coffee and decided never again would I
give anybody the finger.

It happens everyday. WE smile at someone and they are cold, so we turn feed off them and “sour up”. Someone honks because you didn’t move the second the light turned greeen. You reflect their impatience by becoming upset that they honked. It is such a
nasty cycle.

Drop the garbage. Put it out once a day. Once an hour if need be. Don’t let anyone change YOUR mind or mood. It’s all a choice.

Personally I tried being miserable. It sucked, so I gave it up!

I want to help! Ask and I will do my best!

I am on a personal mission for the rest (yes) the rest of my life! I want to help. I want
to share the “stuff” I’ve learned, via the errors of my ways - skeletons and lessons, and through the subjects that I dedicated years to study and teach.

I don’t think everyone can afford personal training, a health club, a shrink or a life counselor. I work as a personal health consultant, teach for college adult education, and I specialize in stress management and relaxation techniques. You know what it’s done for me over the years? I am healthy, relaxed, full of life and want to return some of what I have been given.

Things haven’t always been so perfect in my life. My kids used to say I was an excellent teacher. I taught them what NOT to do. True enough in more than one incident…way more.

I’ve been widowed, battered and tattered, poor and not so poor. Up and down. Betrayed by friends and strangers too! Divorced, remarried, divorced (and so on:), fat, skinny,
insecure, and on the edge of MY world. I still maintain - keep trying. I will NOT give up or give in. I will not allow life to change me to a nasty and miserable person. Afterall,
it is MY LIFE!

If you have ANY questions about health and fitness, stress management, tricky situations, relationships, WHATEVER AILS YOU - give me a chance to help. Just jot a note and I will go to the depths of my Spirit and experience to see if we can find a resolve. If I don’t know - I won’t lie and BS about it. I’ll simply tell you.

FYI : Here are a couple of things that can REALLY help if you sit at a desk all day, and/or
go home with a knot in your back. While at your desk (do one foot at a time) press your
heel away from you. Do it for a minute or so. It will send the blood back upward and
reactivate your circulation. Then wiggle your toes.

If you have a knot in your back when you get home, get a tennis ball and find a bare wall. Place the tennis ball between the wall and the knot in your back. Move around pressing as you do so. The weight of your body and the movement will help to get rid of that knot and relieve the pain! It works!

Lastly - don’t forget to take a “mindful” shot of oxygen throughtout the day. We are
oxygen machines and because breathing is involuntary, we don’t often think about specific
breathing. Our brains need 50% more oxygen to “think optimally”, and to maintain a balance between intellect and emotion. Take a breath, it will also help to energize you and
relax you at the same time! ENJOY - it’s your life!