Ninety-five years old

There is a gal in the next hospital bed who is ninety five years old.  She’s been in here for a couple of weeks.  She had a stroke.  Every day she is going to speech therapy and occupational therapy.  She cracked me up the other day.  She was sitting on the bed and I looked over at her and asked, “How was your day today?”  She looked at me sternly and replied:  ”What do you care!”  I was just about to think she was cross, and she looked at me and broke up in laughter….it was a joke.  She cracked herself up too!  We’ve been buddies ever since she played her little joke.  Laughter is healing medicine.

When you get up tomorrow, stretch and smile and think “it is going to be a wonderful day.”

I’ll do the same – I promise!

An Important tip for your Health and “feeling great”

As I lay here in my hospital bed, tears streaming from my eyes, I appraise what just happened to me. I fell-again.  I shouldn’t have fallen, but I did.

I thought if I had my slipper moccasins to wear, I would feel a bit of home on my feet.

The certified nurses assistant helped me into the “turtle shell” –

Which I will be wearing for at least four months…everytime I am not laying down.

As I did the standard log roll to sit, I took a breath. I stood and held firmly to the walker, and headed for the bathroom.  I am not sure whether the moccasins tripped me, or my right leg caved inward.

Yesterday while in physical therapy, I was taking baby steps, and upon tiring, the same thing happened with my right leg; it just kind of dropped inward.

Thank God I landed on my right knee, and only scrapped my arm.

I think I landed hard, but I know in my mind I was holding my back straight. Cami, a CNA, caught me by the back of it.

So here I am.  Laying in bed with an ice pack.  My back aches all over. It started with the right side and now is just a generally a dull pain.  I don’t feel the fall damaged my surgery, but they will take an xray in the morning…just to be sure.

The point of this post IS TO SAY, PAY ATTENTION TO THE SHOES YOU WEAR.  THROW OUT THE DANGEROUS ONES, OR THE ONES THAT DO NOT FIT PROPERLY.  YOUR FEET ARE IMPORTANT.  THEY CARRY YOU EVERYWHERE!

Just because they are “cute” it doesn’t mean they won’t hurt your back, or make you twist you ankle, or throw you off balance for a fall.  Remember this body is all connected.  However, your feet carry the ENTIRE load, so be kind to them and make “quality, well fitting shoes a priority.”

Take care of you and have a beautiful day, moment by moment.

BTW – no damage done to my back by my fall…….but lesson learned!

In Praise of God and my Husband

 

I will always praise God for all the days of my life.  I can never be humble enough, thankful enough, or even be able to say how much I love Him.

When Michael, my husband, pushed my wheelchair back to my hospital room today, I began to think of the suffering he has endured since my emergency fiasco.  He was with me from the beginning and has been with me as much as possible to this day.

When I thought my schedule was grueling, I began to think of Michael’s since the day I was admitted to the hospital.  He is a heavy equipment mechanic and shop boss for a local company.  He saw me in horrific pain and was unable to take it away.  He told me he broke down once, and he rarely does that.

His work is backbreaking and diverse.  He awakes at 5AM and lets the dog out and then washes his face, shaves, etc.  When the dog has done her business he prepares her food and gets that task done.

Before he can leave he gathers all the items I have asked him to bring to me in the evening.  He also usually has a load of cleanly washed clothes to fetch and fold.

The job is ten miles from home.  Michael’s talents are not simply heavy equipment repair, but a myriad of other “body taxing” jobs throughout the day.  The day is usually twelve hours, give or take a few minutes.

Of course he has already called at noon to check in on me and see how I am doing for the day.  After work he drives the ten miles and then another five or six miles to the hospital.

I light up when he comes in the door and though I tell him “Don’t come over tonight”, he knows it is the highlight of my day.  He usually brings thoughtful and useful things to keep my spirit up.  Whatever I ask him to bring he also packs and delivers the items.

As the weekdays pass Michael begins to look exhausted.  I can tell the days his back is just killing him.  But still he comes every night, faithfully.

He stays until I have to say, “Go home honey.  You still have to take care of the dog, shower, and get ready for tomorrow. “ He’s been grabbing junk food every night since this happened. It’s usually cold by the time he eats it.

On the weekends he does all the household chores, manicures the lawns and trims the trees.  He does much more.

Today he brought “normalcy” to my seemingly endless hospital routines.

He pushed me in the wheelchair to a small refuge called “Angel’s Camp”.

The small park is big enough for one picnic table and two benches.  It

Is surrounded by green trees and bushes – tall and small.  It has a creek

still running hard from recent rains.

He also brought my dog and let me visit with her.  She’s my baby and I loved seeing her.  In a picnic box he brought water, pop, oranges, dog treats (so I could feed her), and fresh strawberries all ready to eat.

My family was on an outing and the dismal feelings I had last night dissipated into oblivion.  My dog knows I am injured.  She was polite and loving and laid next to me for a time.  When it was time to leave, just before he was going to put her in the car, she ran over for a last love and buried her face on my legs while I pet her again.

I told Michael he didn’t have to come by tonight as this had been wonderful.

He said, “I love you.  I’ll see you tonight, and remember-whatever the results of this hard time it is our lives now and we will make it together.”

I can never praise him enough for his steadfast love for me.  He’s seen me in

the most dire of circumstances, and hasn’t blinked an eye.  “I love your heart and your mind” he’ll remind me, “and those things never change.”

I THANK YOU GOD FOR LIFE , AND I THANK GOD, FOR MICHAEL IN MY LIFE.

Today is a good day

I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy; for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities.

Have mercy upon me, o Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

Psalm 31: 7,9, 24

Today is a good day.  I can see and read.  I can speak.  I can communicate via the internet and the cell phone.  I can wash my face with a warm wash cloth, and I am nourished with fresh fruit and juice and water.

Today I will keep the faith I profess by leaning on the Lord with my anxious thoughts and deep desire to heal.  I will then show Him I trust Him by leaving anxiety, fear and tear- blow them into a balloon, float the balloon high in the air and then leave it there for another time.

If feel I must become most  human and need to have a moment of unbridled emotion.….but one that is  reasonable, I will pull the balloon towards me. Then I will release those emotions.  I can let them fly out my fingertips and into oblivion, and slowly loosen the string to fly the balloon high above me.

I will not spend my moments weary and weeping.  I will trust in the Lord, and my balloon will ultimately diminish in size and my faith will broaden my thoughts onward and upward.

Today is a good day.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

Never think of a day as mundane. Please never say you are “killing time”.

Lastly remember that just when you think things will never change,

changes will come and turn your life around.  You can be sure in this lifetime CHANGE is inevitable.

It has been several weeks since I have written consistently, and for those of you who follow my blog, you know I had a fall in January and have been treated for a compression fracture in L1 (Lumbar part of the spinal cord).

Because of a staggering number of unprofessional medical doctors and careless follow-up and  treatments, I paid the price…I started with a 15% compression fracture that could have been treated with vertebroplasty, and left me pain free within hours of the surgery.

Instead I have just had two emergency major surgeries on my back.  The compression fracture ended up being 70%.  My doctor had released me, no more brace and said to call if I needed him.

To make a long story short, I was rushed by ambulance to have first a

Laminectomy, and then an emergency surgery on a burst compression fracture, a type of traumatic spinal injury.

You can go to youtube and look up Tll-L3 Fusion with Instrumentation and should come up with the exact surgery (one of them) I had.

I don’t know how it will all work out, but all the things I thanked God for are still the same (except me!), so I am still grateful and motivated to try to take each day as it comes.

My feet are totally numb.  I have quite a bit of pain, and I have to learn to walk again as my left foot is very weak, and so much is going on because of the surgeries.

I found a video that shows exactly what I had to have done, except it’s not me, it’s a man.  It’s been quite an eye-opener. Have never posted a video and don’t know how to do it – and honestly  am not up to exploring how to do it tonight.

Two days in intensive care, several more in the hospital, and now about two weeks in a rehab hospital; with at least several more weeks to go.

So please everyone – let the petty things dissipate and pay attention to loving one another.  Enjoy the use of your legs to walk, and the freedom to sit in

the shade and watch the shimmering leaves on a tree dance in the breeze.

God bless you and I hope and pray nothing like this ever happens to you!

But if it does, keep the faith, say your prayers, ACCEPT what you cannot change, and change what you can by working hard to recover and redesign your life accordingly.  J

Please Read This NOW.

I am living proof that you should enjoy your life moment by moment.

Never waste a moment when you can say, “I love you.

Never pass the opportunity by to hug someone you love.  Hug that person

close to you. Remember how wonderful it is that they are a part of your life.

Be grateful for small miracles we often take for granted.

Each moment is an opportunity to begin again, no matter what may seem impossible.  We are given life, and it is a wonderful gift.

Don’t diminish your spirit by dousing yourself with man’s enemies –

alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, hatred, vanity, and over-indulgence of anything that can harm you.

Time and circumstance happens to all men.

We have no real control over our lives, though we like to think we do.

The ONLY thing we have control of one hundred percent of the time, is our response to circumstances that come to us.

One moment I was thanking God for the blue sky, stars, my husband, the health of my children and grandchildren, and within a moment my life has changed forever.  I thank God all those awesome things I was thanking Him for have not changed.

I am working hard to recover from something I NEVER thought would happen to me.  For those of you who are following this blog, I will expound tomorrow, but for now I must rest.

God bless you and your loved ones.  God bless us all.  Now go hug someone or tell them you love them!

BEAUTY and ART FROM NATURE

Even the smallest creature in the kingdom can create something worthwhile…The little spider wove a web.  Even if by chance, a fragile and amazing kind of beauty.  Hard rain fell and drops were captured in the sturdy creation.  The sun peeked out from behind a cloud.  A little web, a little rain and a beautiful piece of art from the smallest things of nature.

I am using this as my screen saver.  The sparkle of the droplets hanging delicately from the sturdy web, and the green of the leaves are such an indication of spring to come.  Have a wonderful day, and try SMILING – just because!

The old oak tree

This tree is huge. It is amazing…with no leaves, or bundled in green as it is becoming now, I love this tree. If only trees could talk!

Oh friend so far away ,

You sent me light and love today!

Can I still be blue and drown in pain?

I think not, for what is there to gain?

I will forge to wellness and smile with  joy,

I will breathe in the breath of life.

I will never forget my blessings,

the large ones and the small.

For there are many each day,

I am grateful for them all.

Your concern was like a warm breeze ,

brushing the pain aside – to make way for my healing.

Some times when we are searching the fog for a clear place to see,

We may need a friend to help, a friend such as thee.

You know who you are!

A kind deed, a kind word spoken, or written with sincere concern of heart.

The worth cannot be measured to me.

Thank you for the gift, you helped  to set me free.

I’ve been watching bees and butterflies in the cherry tree, and the grass grow! ————————–

If you are overwhelmed with stress try reading : stressmanagementmagic.com

Pain Bites!

First, let me say this, I published this on my stressmanagementmagic website so you may have read it: however, I just re-read it and it helped me, so I am publishing it here in case it may give you a hand in dealing with YOUR pain!  Have a beautiful day – no matter what!

Definition of Pain:  aching, tingling, throbbing, stabbing, debilitating, punishment (really!), agonizing, piercing, horrific, mild, severe……WHATEVER!

Pain is pain, but it’s not all the same.

Mine is worse than yours.

No yours worse than mine.

“I’ve had mine longer.”

“But mine is stronger.”

“Well I have mine all the time.”

Pain, therefore, is whatever the person experiencing it, says it is.

As we compare our pain with someone else, an epiphany must occur.   There is NO COMPARISON to be made.  Since every single one of us is a different human being, and our chemical makeup, spiritual base, experiences, physiology, and intellect are diverse, a comparison is not only impossible, it is ludicrous.

The International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) defines pain as “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage or described in terms of such damage.”

However, pain is a symptom that cannot be objectively assessed by another.  The person who is having it must assess pain!

I won’t say I had more pain today than any other person.  I can only judge for myself when I say it was a rough pain day today.  I probably exacerbated it because I find it nearly impossible to sit still, even with a compressed fracture of L1.

Keep in mind now with that being said – we can control our pain, in part.  Pay attention to pain.  It is a warning.  It can also be a consequence.

You have a right to your honest pain, and so do I.  You cannot feel guilty because others might have more pain than you and you feel like a whiner.

We all handle pain differently, and only you can be the judge as to how you handle pain.  I personally can handle a fair amount of pain without grumbling or crying, but there is a point when I allow myself tears or extra prayers, or just feeling low for a time.

What I have discovered is that not allowing myself to wallow in pain seems to diminish the overwhelmed feeling I might have had.

Another thing that helps my pain is to divert my attention to something or someone else.  Hence, today I write about pain, and actually – I feel better now.

Lastly, always remember to use your oxygen to help control your pain.  When we feel pain we have a tendency to hold our breath because of it.  When that pain hits, TAKE a DEEP SLOW BREATH in and visualize the oxygen going to the area that needs to be healed.  It will.

Remember breathing creates a pharmaceutical of wonderful natural painkillers for you.  Truly.  That is the physiology of the body.

When you exhale, visualize all the carbon dioxide and lots of pain flying out your fingertips into oblivion.  Then do the whole thing for five minutes or so.  You will feel better.  I hope you do!

I do.